On Christmas Eve it will be the 2nd year anniversary of my father's passing. Christmas has always been the time of year that I had spent it with my dad and my sisters. It was something I always looked forward to every year. When I was younger my dad and I would drive to Houston to see my sister and niece and nephew. On the way there I would ask my dad what he had gotten me for Christmas and his clues were so useless, but I love them. He would said, "It is bigger than a loaf of bread smaller than a house." Typical dad always trying to get me thinking. He knew how sneaky I was when it came to Christmas gifts. We always had a great time together during this special time of year.
I now find myself not looking forward to Christmas as much. Not because of the stress of shopping and the lack of our finances, but sad because I no longer get to share Christmas with my father. Not only not sharing Christmas with my father, but now Christmas is a reminder now to me what has to be the worst day of my life. Seeing my dad in the hospital room with a tears coming down his face because he knew he was dying. That vision just can not be removed from my head.
So when it comes to the holidays I really still want to be with my sisters and their children. Last year we were able to do it have Christmas with one of my sisters and all of the nieces and nephews. It was great being around them when we needed each other the most. We all know how to make each other feel better because we know the emotions of what we are feeling because of Dad being gone. Family is the definitely the best medicine at that time. Well this year doesn't look like I will be getting some of that medicine. Due to scheduling conflicts and our crap cars we will not be able see my family during the holidays. When I found out. I just broke down because I felt him my dad was around he would find a way. I was bawling crying at work on the phone to Mike. Man the holidays are just tough!
I miss my dad so much. I really miss the dad before the motorcycle accident (this is topic will be another blog).
Well I was feeling pretty down after my realization we wouldn't be able to make it to San Antonio. At that time I had to head out to our holiday team lunch at work. I really needed that. Everyone was so wonderful. I work with a great group of gals. We had great food and drinks. My BFF gave me some cute cute cute PJ's (which I am wearing now-I love them!). My friend Misti who ended up to be my Secret Santa gave me a ton of stuff. I was so overwhelmed. I started to cry when I pulled out my last gift. She had "The Martin's" & monogrammed kitchen towels. She is one of the most caring and thoughtful people I know. She made my frown turn my frown upside down. I thank her for that. I really needed that to happen today.