Friday, November 4, 2011

Whoa 6 months!

I can't believe my last post was 6 months ago!! So much has happened in such a short period of time. The last time I posted on my blog I was going through some stuff with adjusting being a new working mommy. 6 months later things have been AWESOME!! Here is the update in our lives...
  • My JOB: A month after posting my emotional confession of being a new mommy....I quit my miserable job of 5 years. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Right now I need to work. I figured if I am going to work and be away from my baby it needs to be worth it. So I started my new job and I LOVE it! So much more laid back and better opportunities! I love the environment!! I didn't realize how miserable I was at my last job until I started working at my new one. It is amazing how much happier I am with just that one change.
  • Renovations: The week before Thanksgiving we got the go ahead to start some renovations in the living room and kitchen. This house has not been updated since 1959. So you could imagine what all we had to do. To start off with....
    • Removed the acoustic tile ceilings because they were falling apart and just collecting so much nastiness. Replaced it with sheet rock & paint
    • Added 14 canned dim-able lights to the living/kitchen. Before we only had 3 and it was soooo dark! It is so much better now.
    • We painted the wood paneling.
    • Removed old rubber tile and linoleum and replaced with large tile. (Looks amazing and feels so clean!!)
    • Removed an old peninsula and added a incredible island built by my talented hubby!
    • Removed all cabinets and building new cabinets, drawers, counters. 
    • Doing granite tile counters.
Can't wait to show the before and after finished project. Mike has done an amazing job so far. It has really transformed the room for the better. The best thing is Jett is able to be in that room now since it is clean and open. We have a little more to do before I will post pics!! It is awesome though. Till then we are still eating off of paper plates and plastic ware, but it is all worth it!
  • Our Little Guy: Jett is 11 months!! He is so incredible. We are lucky to have a baby that is so laid back. Obviously he has grown sooo much since he was 5 months old when I posted last so here are some recent milestone for him. ...
    • He has been teething this whole time and has been such a trooper. He now has 7 teeth!! 4 on the top and 3 on the bottom. And has a beautiful smile!!
We've celebrated quite a few events/holidays the past 6 months.....
For Halloween he was Jett-san the Karate kid. Daddy was Mr. Miyagi.
We celebrated Jett's 1st Thanksgiving at Grammy's. He loved having his Thanksgiving feast with everyone. He was so sleepy after all that Turkey!


He also watched the last Texas A&M & U.T game.....ending a long time rivarly on Thanksgiving. Hopefully when Jett goes to A&M it will be back on!

Jett's 1st Christmas!! For his 1st Christmas we went first to Grammy's for Christmas Eve to open gifts with all the cousins and then to Christmas Eve service. He was more excited about everyone else's gifts then his own.
In his Christmas Jammies
Santa came!

Our annual Christmas card. Jett's daddy wanted to go with the gift box theme from last year's card. I didn't do much photoshop this year. Only to the background. The dogs were great during it. Jett was the one that was hard to get his attention. He was so preoccupied by all the tinsel. Below are some out takes from the Christmas card photo session.
He discovered Bentley's bell....
Yummy
I'm staaaanding!!!!
Now I'm not :-(. BTW he was not hurt at all. He got up with all smiles and dirt in his mouth.
This is the one that made it into the card

He is eating real people food and loves it! One of his favorite things to eat is mommy's turkey meatballs and some frozen blueberries! Our little guy just started to WALK a couple of weeks ago at 10.5 months old! He is starting quite early, but it is pretty awesome to watch.He is getting better and better at it. He still looks like Godzilla standing tall and walking as if he rules the world one step at a time. It is so awesome to watch! He loves his walker that Grammy & Paw Paw got him.

The next big event will be Jett's 1st birthday!! I've been planning this for quite a while.  It will be an airplane themed party. I will post all my DIY items I have been doing in the next couple of post. :)

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The steps....

I just have to say WOW! THANK YOU THANK YOU....everyone for your responses. I had many "AHA" moments reading every one's comments on the post below. It really was a HUGE relief knowing that mommies and non-mommies could relate to how I am feeling. I wasn't the only one who felt possessed by the nutso hormones! Also, I realized that there ARE solutions to getting me back!! Well...slowly, but surely. There is hope! So much great advice was given...seriously why didn't I post about this earlier???

So after reading every one's comments here and on facebook. I decided on a few baby steps I am going to take to start the search of who I am again. I think it will begin like a treasure hunt...eager to hunt for the gold, but frantically searching until you finally have decoded the map/clues and have an idea where "X" marks the spot. So it will definitely be a trial and error thing until I really figure it out too see what really clicks for me. So here goes......!

1. Supplement Feed...I actually started doing this past weekend! I was stressing myself out (as you read before) sooo much not being able to keep up with the demand that my son needed at daycare. So he is getting 1/2 of BM and 1/2 of formula at daycare, nurse when we get home and nurse at night....let's face it nursing is easier in the middle of night.. One of the only conveniences of nursing....there is no adding water, shaking or stirring involved just whip it out and there it is. ha!

Anyways.... Just doing that these past 4 days at work I have pumped more than I EVER have! I guess the pressure of me thinking my son would suffer not getting just BM has been lifted off my shoulders. He is doing great with the supplement he is still so happy like nothing has changed. Except his diapers WHOA are so much stinkier now! I hear it is worse when baby's start solids! Gotta invest in some masks!

2. Connect Spiritually...this has been a tough one. I would love to go to church, but the last time we went the baby did good until the sermon and he got antsy and I had to walk out. I don't think their was a viewing room either. I looked around and didn't see anything so I gave up and went to the truck. Gotta try again one day. However, I am a spiritual person and I firmly believe you don't physically need to go to a place of worship to believe and have a relationship with the big guy. I have lost touch though so I need to get connected again. So for the time being I will listen to podcasts of my church's sermons online and finish the book "The Shack." I hear this book is awesome! I think this will be a large factor in getting "me" back. Since my soul is so lost.

3. Treat myself with a new look... I desperately need this. Not a HUGE overhaul makeover, but just a much needed tune up. I need a hair cut, new outfit and pedi...I think I would feel refreshed and want to keep this look going. I am going to try to get away from the pony tail and dull outfits at work. Remember "TRY" it will be pretty difficult to get away from at least the pony tail since it is just so easy and the baby is in a stage of wanting to yank my hair out of my scalp with his great super baby strength! So it will be try for the pony tail for now. I will post a pic of my new look later! :-)

4. Date Nights with Hubby... This was a big piece of advice that most people gave on how to find not just "me" back, but my relationship with my husband. I am going to schedule 2 date nights this coming month with my husband. And we will actually treat this like a "date" and not just like a typical night of going out to eat and to the movies. Maybe we will get to share a cherry coke....ha!! What I really want to get is that feeling you get when you are anticipating the "1st kiss".  I want to fall in love again....not that I am not in love with my husband, but you know what I am talking about. The type of in love that you get a tingling feeling all over and the uncontrollable smiling when you think of your honey. This might be all a dream, but hey it doesn't hurt to try!

These are alot of things and I am sure it will take much more than this to get "me" back, but they are small little steps to start off. Thanks again everyone for the tips. If you think of anything else please let me know! I would love to hear them!

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Confessions of a New Mommy....I am unhappy....

This blog is really not the true topic you would be reading about (DIY stuff), but I need to get this off my chest. To make me sane again as a person. I am going to lay it all out in the open, which I rarely do (I feel like Jerry in the movie "Jerry Maguire" at this point ha!). Do you want to know what it is really like to be a first time mom? The truth not the "fluff" about how it is really hard, but the most rewarding thing EVER and so on and so on (it is rewarding, but there is more too it). Keep reading!

I have officially been a mother to a live male human being for 18 weeks & 4 days. In the books you read and in the clasess you are told that this thing called being a mom is HARD because you will be so tired with the feedings, putting the baby to sleep and blah blah blah......  Yes yes  yes yes....I am tired & sleepy....with my son thinking I am an "all you can eat buffet" at 2 am & 4 am. Yes yes yes yes....I am frustrated that my baby doesn't want to sleep when I want him to sleep....these things really have a mind of their own. Yes...I am the mom experiencing all these typical things you hear & read about. But what you can't really prepare for the roller coasters you go through emotionally.

Today I realized that I have not been "me" in 18 weeks & 4 days. I have been just a shell of person...more like a robot/mommy slave with milk shooting out of its' chest.  I know I am not suffering from postpardum depression, but what I do know is I am really unhappy of who I am right now. I am not the best version of myself to give to my son, my husband, my family and friends. What I am just trying to do is just get through each day. Hoping that I am survive and get through another day, which is very sad. To be living like that.

It is the same routine... wake up at midnight...baby goes nom nom nom. I roll over and feed...pat pat pat. He is done and back to sleep. 3 am again baby goes nom nom nom. I roll over and feed...pat pat pat and pray he wakes up closer to 7 am so I can sleep an extra hour, but no he wakes up at 6 am going nom nom nom. I feed and then just lay there dreading to get out of bed having to start the day. When I finally get the courage to get up now it is full time rush rush rush mode. I am running around with my hair looking like a nest in the kitchen thawing out pumped milk, brushing my teeth, & getting the baby's stuff ready for day care. I occasionally walk in too check on him. He is either sound asleep or smiling so big to start the day. I have no idea how this baby can be so happy EVERY morning! Because I am SOOOOO not! I continue to rush around the house. I put on half my clothes & makeup on. Then I hear in the background my husband getting the baby changed and dress for daycare. Whew....I think he will take the baby to daycare. I still rush around...I am finally ready to go to work with my pony tail and dull outfit. I don't have time to concentrate on my hair & outfit like I use too. Remember I am just trying to get through the day. I say bye to my boys and run out for my commute to work.

I get to work and rush rush there. I check my email and voicemail. Put out some fires and then on to the pumping room. To pump that oh so great milk out of my robot chest. I am in the pumping room playing Angry Birds and checking the feed on Facebook. Nothing exciting. I start thinking about why am I not pumping enough...my baby is going to STARVE! I am a bad mother....my baby is going to DIE. Yes...all this goes into my mind the short 15 minutes I am pumping. I finish up pumping and then I go back to work and then off too lunch. Now that is lunch what can I eat??? Oh no I can't eat that because baby will have gas or be cranky. I really don't want to walk to far because these heels hurt because I have been out of practice walking in them for a year. Anyways I get my lunch and eat at my boring gray cubicle desk and work. Again back to the pumping room....thinking about how my baby will die if I  don't pump enough. I go back to work and pump one more time and then head out to go pick up my baby. This part of my day I really do look forward too. I get too see my baby. When I get to daycare I talk to my very awesome daycare provider. She tells me about how the baby did that day. I really eat up everything she says because I want to know how he did. I miss my baby. The small moment that I am happy because my baby is happy.

We then head home....waaah waah he cries. It is TOO hot in Houston! We get home...we let the dogs out. Walk around the yard watch them pee and then go inside. Nom nom nom baby is hungry. I feed him in my dull work clothes...he is done. I then put him in the swing while I get dinner ready. He is crying crying crying. He wants me to be near him. I tell him, "Buddy I am here you are not alone." He still cries. I walk up and stick his paci in his mouth. He is quiet and smiles. I walk away. He cries again. I give up and let him cry a little so I can make dinner and eat. Husband gets home picks up baby. I shovel my food in my mouth because robot mommy cannot enjoy her meals anymore. Then get baby ready for his bath and ready for bed. He finally sleeps at 8 pm. I wash dishes, bottles, and clothes. I then get all his stuff together for the next day. And I then take my long shower that I have been looking forward too ALL DAY! Yes....it is  sad that one of the things I look forward to the most is my shower at night. This is the only time I can be alone and somewhat relax....key word "somewhat." I am in the shower thinking if the baby is crying or not and rush through that as well. It is 11 pm I am in bed. I am exhausted physically. I think at the end of each day...man this is a long day. I have to do it again...now I want to cry.

If you notice in my daily schedule. Not ONCE I think about me. I realized today. I don't EVER think about me. I know there are some sacrifices when becoming a mom, but you should never lose yourself as a person. Well I have. I don't think I can remember most recently that I am genuinely happy. Not a small moment of time that I was happy like when my baby giggle and smiles to me, but overall being happy as a person. I think as a new mom this has to be a common thing. You give give give give, but never let anyone give to you or give anything to yourself. We are so bogged down with the daily routine we forget to stop and actually smell the roses or in our case baby powder & formula.

Today I spoke to my husband about how unhappy I was. I want to feel emotion again. I want to be a person again. I want to give a crap about how I look and how I feel. I don't want to be feel like a shell of a person with no emotions just trying to get through each day. I want to laugh a real laugh. Not laugh just because I have too. I want to laugh so hard I pee in my pants. That is a real laugh. I want to fall in love again. I want to feel butterflies in my stomach when I see my husband. I want to have tears of joy when I see my son accomplish a milestone. I want to have a heart again.

So today....I am going to start living my life again. I have no idea how I am going to do this, but I sure am going to try now. My husbad made a great point...If mommy is unhappy then EVERYONE (husband, son, friends, family, etc.) is unhappy. It is so true. It is a ripple effect.

Don't get me wrong....I am IN LOVE with my husband and son! I would not trade them for anything in the world, but I want to be better for them. And I can't do that if I am not even here as me. I need to give the best version of myself and that should be a happy person who loves life and wants to share it with the two special guys in my life.

So I thought my first step to living is to express to the world (or blog world) on how I feel. There shouldn't be any hiding of it. We live in a world that everything should appear and perfect on the outside, but that is not the reality. I want to be "real" soooo "world here I am!"

Second is to ask support to help me start living. I can't do this by myself because I tried and failed. So I ask all my readers (the small group who is out there...ha!) help me out on how to do this. What can I do to start living?! I of course have to do this in baby steps. Please help! I know can't be the only one out in cyber world that feels this way. Being a numb empty shell. So please if you have any experience or tips on how to help me find myself I really really appreciate it!

Thank you for reading my LONG LONG rant....this was really for me to let it off my chest. I do feel much better. I think this was a great outlet for me to get it all out there.  I think blogging not specifically my new mommy confessions, but what I am interested in general will make me feel better. I will have a sense of me again.

Disclaimer: If I have offended anyone I am really sorry. I just needed to let out what I am feeling. Thank you!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

It's Been A While....

Oh yes it has been! I have been a really bad blogger. We've just been SUPER busy this past month. I am still trying to get my groove into being a working mom. Been at it for 6 weeks and boy is it a challenge! I haven't been able to do any DIY projects lately. I hope to start some up soon! I have a pile of things that I need to do. I just want to thank you for being patient with my blog. I promise I will post more. I just need to add blogging as part of something I need to do (not because I HAVE to, but because I truely enjoy it!).

So be on the look out for some new blog post soon! In the mean time here is me with my little guy a couple of weeks ago at his 1st wedding. He is almost 4 months in this pic! I am a proud mama! He is getting so big!!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

DIY: Personalized Eggs....um I guess Rocks

For Easter all of Jett and his cousins on my husband's side were going to take a kids group pictures for their "Grammy". Then afterwards my very talented sister in law with  Traci Robinson Photography was going to take some detail shots of Jett that we didn't get for his newborns since he wasn't really cooperating that day (he was 10 days old and was not happy).

With these details shots I wanted to use some type of prop and then I came across a blog that  a crafty mom made personalized clay robin eggs. I thought this would fit perfect with Easter. So I was on the mission to make these eggs.....

This is her version of the eggs....keep scrolling down for instructions and see my attempt in making these "eggs."

Materials Needed (can be purchased at your local craft store...I got mine at Hobby Lobby_
1. Clay: that you can cook in the oven
2. Individual Alphabet Rubber Stamps
3. Acrylic Paint
4. Paint Brush
5. Foil
6. Cookie Sheet
7. Couple of pieces of paper towel


Instructions:
1.Preheat the oven to the directions of what the clay packet says (200 F)

2. Create a mold using the Aluminum Foil. Mold it into a size of a small egg.
I would make this smaller then the actual plastic egg if you are
 using just 1 packet of clay.

3. Flatten your clay with a rolling pin or a thick drinking glass.
Tip: I used my finger tips to stretch out the clay to make it thinner.

4. Wrap your flatten clay around the foil mold that was created.

5. With your palm of your hands/fingers work & smoothen out the clay around the foil mold. Until there isn't any foil you can see with the visible eye.

6. With your rubber stamps press your individual stamp letters
firmly into the "egg". 

7. Pierce a tiny hole to let out any trapper air inside.

8. Fold a thicker piece of cardstock in a accordian style
(I didn't have any carstock on me so I used some big postcard
 I got in the mail...it worked) 

9. Place the eggs in the folds so the bottom part doesn't touch the bottom. This is to prevent a flat part on the "egg"

10. Place the eggs that are in the folded card stock on top of a cookie sheet and bake in oven for 15 minutes

11. Allow the eggs to cool.

12. Take your paint brush and acryclic paint and flick the paint onto the egg
 (do this in an area that you can make a mess).

13. Take your paint brush and fill in the letters. Take your paper towel add a little bit of water. Wipe any excess paint on the letters.

14. Let it all dry and enjoy!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mine turned out to be more like ROCKS then eggs. HA HA! I don't really care now because
I have been getting alot of compliments on them.

Check out the awesome pics we took with them :-) Such a great prop!


All photos courtsey of Traci Robinson Photography

Friday, April 15, 2011

So many projects to tackle!!

So after creating Jett's nursery I noticed Mike and I really enjoy DIY. We get so much satisfaction in creating something ourselves and letting creative juices flowing. ;-) So I decided I am going to DIY more for several reasons....
(1) Saves $$$ to DIY then buying things retail
(2) I love to customize just for us
(3) I just want to do it!

Some of the projects (mostly baby related) I plan to tackle before I go back to work are.... (this list seems long!)

  • Creating some of these baby legs/leg warmers for Jett.


I don'know how to sew or have a sewing machine, but I think I will take some classes from my mother in law on how to sew (she is super talented she created Jett's crib bedding). I think this will be the perfect project to start learning. Plus I think of how much I can DIY when I know how to sew!

  • Making myself a nursing cover 
These nursing covers that are sold in the stores are ridiculously expensive. I figure I can make one at more than 1/2 their cost or less! Plus mine is going to look purrrty! :-)

  • Travel Diaper/Wipe Case
Not this exact design, but I want to cover my travel wipe case with something a little bit cuter than the lovely white plastic Huggies design it currently has.

  • Clothes Dividers
  
This is a project that I wanted to tackle before the baby got here um....that just didn't happen. I was too picky looking for the right style paper, but now I just need to do it. I really need a easier way to divide these clothes up in his closet. It's annoying to keep looking at the tags.

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I will start tackling these projects soon and posting about them since my leave is going to be up soon or I will just do them in the middle of the night like I am blogging right now at 2:55 am. Ha! Gotta love those middle of the night feedings with the baby and unable to go back to sleep.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Jett's Nursery... Renovation

We started to work on the room slowly, but surely in September. We first had a garage sale to get everything out of the room. It was basically used as a storage room and it was packed from floor to ceiling. Luckily we were able to sell the majority of the items. Thank goodness!!
The Garage Sale!!

Second was tearing everything out of the room. This was the fun part! Pulled out all the carpet, everything out of the closet (shelving, poles, racks, etc.). 

The dogs even wanted to help out! ;-)

Third Mike worked on some great solid pieces of furniture (dresser, tv armoire & crib) to refinish. This took a while since it was sooooo time consuming. We wanted black with some antiquing. Mike of course added his awesome creativity to it all with some stencil work and lining the interiors with some awesome mod podge work. It was worth every minute. He did an INCREDIBLE job! The pieces look soooo awesome!
My Dresser Growing Up Before.....

Inside the dresser we Mod Podge this wrapping paper,
we bought at Michaels, as the lining turned out awesome!
Final Product...UH-MAAZING

Mike's T.V Armoire Before.....


And After.......!
(Mike painted on the stencils and added some cool hardware from Hobby Lobby)
Inside Mike lined it with fabric (mod podge) and made shelves for storage. We plan on getting baskets to store books and such!
We were blessed to have Mike's sister and our friend give us each a crib. We loved the look of my friend's crib that was originally white with some gray antiquing, but some of the crib slats were missing and I wasn't comfortable using a crib with missing slats. So we decided to use Mike's sister's crib it was a simple and sturdy design, but it was drop side crib. Mike was just about to be finished painting the crib when the story hit that drop side cribs were banned. With this news we had decide what we wanted to do. Buy a crib or figure out a way to make it a fixed crib. Since we orginally liked the other design we decided to combine both my friend's crib (using the side ends) and Mike's sister crib (using the slats) to create the crib that we wanted. Mike also created from scratch four sides that look like as if they were part of the crib. My husband is soooo talented!! By far this is my favorite piece. It turned out incredible!!!

I don't have any before and after pictures, but I have pictures of the process. Just remember the 2 ends were white and antiqued with a black. The slats were a oak.

 And After!! Pictures don't do it justice!!!
The bottom pieces were added on.
Mike created this sides out of scratch.
They look like they belong there!
Then the painting process began!
Here are the before pictures of the room.






I  wanted one darker gray wall and the rests of the walls a light gray. My original inspiration was this pic below.
We decided on gray for the walls It is just the perfect color for us. So chic and clean. We love the bead board and chair rail idea on the wall, but we decided to do it only up against our accent wall. I think eventually we will have them on all 4 walls. We decided against carpet. One carpet is just gross with all the stuff it collects in it and two we have 3 dogs that shed so carpet is not a fun thing when you have 3 dogs .

The room after Mike refinished the furniture right before he started to paint the walls.
Touching up some of the walls! He has the pose down!
Installing the floors. He did this in one night!!
 Now for the long awaited after pics!!!
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Presto....the room! One of our 3 dogs Maverick wanted to pose.
He loves this room!




The awesome closet that Mike built!

 We will be getting baskets that 
match for storage! So Awesome!

 



The awesome bedding made by my very talented mother in law. The decal is a custom decal made through www.dalidecals.com
(I highly recommend them....very affordable)






We purchased the fabric from www.fabrics.com
the best prices anywhere!



And the precious diaper hanger she made!!
A diaper hanger is a MUST!!!

There are only a few more things we need  (baskets for closet, cornice window treatment, area rug) to do to complete Jett's cool room! I am super proud of this room and my hubby who made this happen. Besides our beautiful gem, Jett, this room is Mike's best work yet! He has created the vision I had as a perfect nursery into reality. Thank you....to my AWESOME AWESOME husband!! I love you!